Nana graduated to glory on March 18th 2024 surrounded by her family at home.   Jeff, Joy and Jann held her hand, Aunty Linda stroked her hair, our beloved Vana and Angie stood by and helped beam Nana’s Singapore family into the room in a video patchwork.  

We sang songs, prayed and each expressed our fondest memories and loving gratitude for Nana and her life lived so well.  We laughed, we cried.  We were all going to miss her but knew she wanted to be with Gramps to play golf and dance once again.  He had visited her in dreams the weeks before and she was ready.  

When the thin space between heaven and earth evaporates, we catch glimpses of the eternal and are filled with an unspeakable Peace.  Peace carried Nana home. 

Today we are all sad, and yet as we remember Nana, we cannot help but smile as we recall her joyful face.  We are so grateful for her beautiful life and equally beautiful passing: the fullness of 104 years. 

Many people wonder what was the key to Nana’s long, prosperous and happy life?  

And hence, her eulogy is entitled: Nana’s 3 Lessons in Life and Longevity.

These 3 Virtues characterised Nana’s life: an Attitude of Gratitude, Simplicity and Optimism. 

Nana was born in 1919, the year shortwave radio was invented.  She lived through post war recovery and another world war, life before and after cars, airplanes, and a man on the moon.  Before and after TV, the internet and mobile internet.  She experienced VR, AR and mastered email us to update and enquire about our lives.  She enjoyed Alex Trebeck and watched Jeopardy religiously at seven o’clock.  She loved golf but hated exercise. Yet ever determined to be fit and in good health, she engaged a personal trainer in her 90s and 100s to regain balance and strength.  She considered back surgery, skin cancer and a botched pacemaker insertion which slit her aorta simply minor setbacks. Nana was never deterred.  Always ready, armed with a smile.   

A sophisticated and remarkably modern woman, one would not know Nana grew up very modestly and raised chickens, cleaned homes and sang on the radio for extra income for the family.  Like her mother who rarely uttered a bitter word, on the contrary, she was one to consistently speak well of others.  Nana somehow saw the best in each of us and called that forth.  It is amazing what kind words can do for someone having a bad day.   

Living in Singapore, most of our calls were on video and upon seeing us, she would always exclaim, “Oh! You look great!”  This was regardless of whether we were tired, sweaty or grumpy.  Her words melted our tiredness and would lift a heavy heart.  She would make each of us smile and believe somewhere, somehow, she was right.  Sometimes we need someone else to help us see the gold inside.  Nana was that to many of us.  

To honour her, I hope you will do the same to others.  [Please turn to your neighbour and say, “Wow! You look great!”]

So let’s start with the Lesson 1: Gratitude

When asked on her 90th birthday, what was her secret to such a good long life, she paused and replied, “Well, I think I’m just a grateful person. I get up in the morning and give thanks! I give thanks that I got up! And I give thanks that Gramps walks to the bathroom by himself.” At the time, I thought that was a simple and almost silly remark, but indeed that is something really none of us should take for granted.  Being alive IS a gift and the fact that we can walk, stand, breathe and swallow.  These are all gifts we take for granted.  Nana never did and her life was richer for it.  

Nana would wish for us all today to give thanks.  So may I ask you – what is something or someone you are grateful for? Do they know?  As Nana’s challenge, would you do or say something to make that right this week?  

Nana’s simple prescription is consistent with the research on healthy aging and longevity.  Gratitude, happiness and longevity are in fact a golden trinity.  In January, we watched the BlueZones documentary which identified key longevity factors from places as diverse as Okinawa, Sardinia and Loma Linda, California. Interestingly, many factors were present in Nana’s life; chief amongst them family, sense of purpose and positive social relations - all strung together with an attitude of gratitude.  It seems that healthy doses of gratitude outweighed the tater tots and processed food she also loved.

Nana had a superpower.  It was to be supremely present-minded and thankful for being exactly where she was and who she was with.  Nana knew how to make you feel like a million bucks, everyone from Frank Sinatra to the Emperor to a cashier was a VIP, and her family, VVIPs.  Nana’s lesson #1: Be present and practice gratitude and you’ll live longer and happier!

Lesson #2: Simplicity 

Perhaps the other face of gratitude is contentment and simplicity.  My grandparents were maximalists of living, but minimalist in life and satisfied with the simple things.  They appreciated fine things in life, but these were always still things with the purpose of being shared with others.  In and of themselves, they meant little.  They kept a simple home in the Hollywood Hills which was an almost vacant ridge when Nana bought it in 1958.  She bought the land while Gramps was on a business trip.  I remember he recalled to me with a big smile, Nana called me one day and said “Hi honey, I bought a house!”  As the saying goes, happy wife - happy life, happy spouse - happy house.  And Nana was happy with the house.  

Her sister Vicki’s late husband, our Uncle Hank was the architect of this timeless design which maximised the breathtaking view for the large living room which has hosted countless celebrations, especially her wedding anniversary, Thanksgiving.  And though the plumbing has seen better days, the home is still a haven for many. Even after their business grew and they became elders in their community with decorations by the Governor, The President and Japanese Emperor, they never moved, they never expanded their garage, closets or their egos.  Everyone was always welcome in their home and they had time for all. 

Those who knew my genteel and elegant Nana would also know that her favourite food were chazuke, with breakfast foods toast with butter or a bowl of Cheerios and half a banana, as a close second.  Less is indeed more.  Interestingly, longevity is also correlated with calorie restricted diets - and Breakfast like a King (or Queen) is exactly what she did.  In short, eat less, live more. 

Many of you will also know my mom had a major stroke 9 years ago. She has built back stronger and is happier and more beautiful than ever.  Over the last few years, my Dad has brought her back to spend extended periods of time in LA to just be with Nana and Vana.  Their routines are simple and one thing they love to do is sing; especially, You are my sunshine. Perhaps you’d sing a verse with me?

We sang the song for her 100th birthday and changed one line to end the verse, “and we celebrate you everyday.”  So if you know the words, let’s sing together. 

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine,

You make me happy, when skies are grey,

You’ll never know dear, how much I love you,

So we’ll celebrate you everyday! x2

Lesson #3: Optimism 

Speaking of sunshine, the last longevity lesson is about mindset and hope.  Nana was one who always chose to see the glass half full.  Classic Nana, recalled my Aunty Linda, was when she was asked about the internment camps.  She didn’t speak about their loss or the injustice, she remarked on the Japanese gardens they created, their dances and parties.  These were semblances of normal life and dignity which kept them afloat during that horrific time. She and Gramps never complained or spoke ill of the government, but beleived their country was greater than the whims of politicians or populist sentiment, and they put their money to work. 

They endowed a professorship at UCLA to study the Internment and ensure future generations would have the opportunity to learn and do better in and for America, their home.  Their life philosophy seemed to be: Don’t get mad or even aim to get even.  Just do better.  Be better and show the way forward. 

Optimism for Nana was not about minimising tragedy or pain. It was about acceptance of the things we cannot change and a redirection of energy towards a future that was still possible, if only we could believe it so.  A tranquil heart is life to the body, But bitterness is rottenness to the bones.

Fast forward to today, what would Nana have hoped for for us? 

I think for her country, she would have hoped for more peacemakers - people willing to compromise, to listen more than speak, to cross the aisles to build bridges and not walls; people willing to risk personal comfort to defend, especially the voiceless, to expand and share the pie and stand for equal opportunity for all. 
For Los Angeles, her city, and perhaps the microcosm of Little Tokyo, she would have hoped for life and joy to fill the streets, for neighbors to reach out with a spirit of welcome especially for the strangers from strange lands, for businesses to serve customers and strengthen community life, for old and young gather to learn from one another, for the pride of being Japanese American expressing itself not in chauvinism or insularity, but in fresh, creative and quietly powerful ways. 

For her family and friends, she would want each of us to live life fully - no regrets, no un-saids, no un-dones, no excess, no lack.  She believed in loving and serving the community while keeping a tight circle of close friends. She would want us to keep learning and discovering new things and find happiness in the simple things. She would want us to face challenges not with teeth gritting, but just a determined smile. Today is no exception. 

So as we gather today, let us deposit those three life lessons in our hearts and take with us her inspiration of Gratitude, Simplicity and Optimism.  Thank you Nana, we love you.

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